WBHS Head Dog 2016: A Letter to his Predecessor

Wynberg Boys' High School Head Dog 2016

Click on the image to read 2015 Head Dog Sandy’s end of year message.

After being dog in waiting for the last six months, I’m very excited to finally be taking up my rightful position as top dog at Wynberg Boys’ High School. I am particularly pleased that our noble breed  Canis AfriCanis, which has served in the royal courts of Africa since the days of the Pharaohs   continues to reign supreme.

Wynberg Boys' High School: Koos' Lineage

Pharaonic Egypt, the god Anubis bears an uncanny resemblance to Head Dog Koos; photo source https://egyptmanchester.wordpress.com

So, Sandy (Head Dog Emeritus), following your Head Dog Signing Off recent blog in which some rather disparaging remarks were made about me, I feel the need to set the record straight by informing our loyal readers of the true state of affairs:

Wynberg Boys' High School Head Dog 2015

2015 Leadership: former Headmaster & former Head Dog

Firstly I don’t think there is any greater danger of my name being spoonerised than yours. The immodest posture you often assumed whilst lying in the corridor outside His office certainly left you wide open to being subjected to crude variations of your name.

I am also well known for my elegance and grace. He often refers to me as “the Regal Koos” referring to how I conduct myself in public and my decorum in the corridors of power. This, I suggest, will be a distinct improvement.  Another reason for my regal presence is my considerably slimmer physique fashioned by my strict adherence to a Banting diet.  In royal tradition, when occasion calls, I break my diet for cake, not bread, which (judging by your girth) was likely your meal of choice.

Another distinct improvement in the corridor of power will be the noise factor. Previously meetings, assemblies and even social gatherings were often rudely disturbed by loud rumblings which proved rather unsettling to guests and embarrassing to Him. By contrast, the sounds I generate are of a much gentler nature and have never been known to cause any embarrassment in public. Talking about embarrassment, the area around His office will also be far less odoriferous in the future.

In my time in waiting, it became clear that the top dog needs to be the correct gender and I can now proudly take on the role as a Wynberg Man. The first few days on the throne have already made huge demands on me: welcoming the Grade 8s, taking them on tours of the school and making sure they got safely up and down the mountain with their buddies. Exhausting work, even for a boy!

While it seems both of us have embarrassed Them in public, I will be far more careful to keep my indiscretions private in future. In retirement, you of course have no need to be that careful. I am going to leave menial tasks of chasing hadedas and sandwich hoovering to my princess, Yogi, who will be taking up residence with me at the royal court of Kaplan House.

Wynberg Boys' High School Deputy Head Dog 2016

Now that I have cleared up any misunderstanding about my suitability for the position of top dog I want to wish you a very long and happy retirement at your new home in Clovelly. It really is beautiful and although the steep driveway will be a bit of a challenge for you, it will be all the more worthwhile when you get to the top and survey the wonderful view. If I did not have important matters of State to attend to here I could quite easily imagine myself lying on your balcony surveying my kingdom below.

Thank you for preparing the way for me to take my place as the heir to the Throne. We are now well settled in Kaplan House and I looking forward to my new role. Hopefully we will be able to share a bone and a bowl of water soon.

Koos, Head Dog 2016